I just. . . don't know where to start. Everything just turned upside down in an hour. . . It's nothing against Ray but. . . I'm still broken inside. . . and I don't wanna hurt him. . . but I'm still confused on my feelings. . . and then him asking this broke that "Happy shell" i had placed myself in since Sunday night. Part of it started with:

Jedi Knight CC16: We known each other for 16 months :o
TaDahmonQM: Yup
Jedi Knight CC16: Yeah been a while :-)
TaDahmonQM: ^^
Jedi Knight CC16: Gosh I hate being shy ~_~
Jedi Knight CC16: I really do :(
TaDahmonQM: I'm shy too. . .

I thought the shy thing was an odd thing to say. . . but then. . . well. . . . . . . . . .
Then the real shocker. . .

Jedi Knight CC16: I think i'll brb...
Jedi Knight CC16: back
Jedi Knight CC16: ^^;
TaDahmonQM: Lol
TaDahmonQM: Ok ^^;
Jedi Knight CC16: So... Do you still love me? Just wondering...
Jedi Knight CC16: Was getting kind of scared to ask that.

Ray and I would actually be an interesting thing to re-explore. We like a lot of the same things. . . We're both decent people. . . and once I got over some of the pain, I had to refocus on some things and realized I respect Ray for how he handled us. He didn't play around. When he sensed things were fading, he did what other people should do. He asked me if I wanted to continue on with us. . . or if I wanted to be friends. He. . . left it up to me. And that was what I needed. I NEEDED for us to be over. I was falling for Tent then and it was getting harder and harder. . . but now I'm open again. I'm free. And I do like talking to Ray again usually. And I have no one else. . . When I think I might, it usually becomes a joke. When Ray and I were together, we were usually serious. That poor guy. . . aah, the desk. . . Um. . . good times. I told him the truth. I hate how things ended between us. But maybe all we needed was a few months, on a break. I'm just still confused. . . but I do like Ray and even if in the end, I decide I don't want him. . . I'll try my hardest not to hurt him. The guy's been through enough with me already. . . As long as Ruki and Ben support me and keep me from rushing into anything. . . I'll be fine and hopefully. . . that Celebi boy will be too. . . But what about Fox? Well he hugs me a lot. . . but when I even mention online relationships, not even meaning him and I, he passes the computer to Lumin. . . I swear MK told him something. . .