It's never gonna go away, is it? It was sooooo much better when my sis was on. She'd keep me strong and on track and all this and now that she's gone and Charlotte doesn't answer me I feel like I'm sliding off that track and it's so bad I can barely see to type now and I just want my mom and sis back please. My eyes sting. Please bring them back. Please. When they were around I felt like I could seriously move on. And now it feels like they abandoned me and I can't take it. It's like they were my life line and and and i just need them. And tonight's sht didn't help my worthlessness feeling. It made it worse. Please. . . *considers seriously starting the "Get Ruki a brand new computer" thing* I have almost 2500 in the bank. . . I'll buy her one. .. and a ticket to where she lives. . . and deliver it for her. . . and then cry in her shoulder. Cause I need my sis. I'm gonna watch a movie. Bbiaf.
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Movie thing didn't work. Ugh. It's sad just how green my eyes look when my eyes are bloodshot. . . I haven't cried this hard or this long in a long amount of time. I guess I needed to. Ugh ok I feel better. Cackling at peoples' stupidity with Ray is helping.

Badge Progress:
Sun Disk Badge: 2 of 10
Play Dominoes! Badge: 1 of 20
Bon Voyage Super Badge: 0 of 3


Ugh. Lol. Lynne. . . I wanna shout out to you. You're holding me together right now. Thanks girl. Dunno what I'd do without ya, heh. And our situations are scarily similar. But I'll help you through yours and you'll help me through mine and we'll be good. I was gonna copy and paste something here. . . but I can't. . . so I'm just gonna work on my badge some before bed. . . But now that I"m doing it I'm getting teary again. Crap. What do I need to do to get the dumb ass frick out of my head? And Ray please don't tease me about cussing when you read this. I'm just in a really bad mood tonight and I feel like cussing in here. Ugh forget it I can't concentrate too well. All I know is I'm saying goodbye to stress. At whatever measures necessary. I don't need this BS anymore. . . Just go away. . . let me be. . . I need a good night's sleep. . . Sigh. Dmmit how did I get into this mess. . . I. . . just. . . UGH! I'm gonna just go cry into my pillow. I feel like I"ve been transported back a couple months, when I was. . . OH YOU KNOW DMMIT. *leaves*
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Ner. i feel better now. A night of sleep helped. Let's just FORGET I had that moment. . . hour. . . of weakness. Charlotte is talking to me again and i feel better. Of course now she's on brb. . . but I still feel ok. I can live with this. >.<; I lived with it before, I can live with it again. Ok Bold and Beautiful is killing me here. x.X

*talking about a skank in the room*
Lily: she didn't respond to my whipser.....does your husband know your a slut or does he just pimp you out?
Charlotte: lmao
Lynne: LMAO
Me: Rofl
Lily: now she comes in and its Hello Lily
Me: Oh it prolly turned her on
Lily: lmao funk ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

I dunno I can't really remember what I did after I went to bed. But things are clearer, what I do remember, well, . . . sort of bittersweet things. More bitter than sweet if that makes sense. I think I finally just cried myself to sleep. Yup. . . it was a hard night. . . But I won't talk about it to anyone outside of here, except for maybe to Lynne cause she was there for me during some of it. Considering to put TJ's place on my favorite's list, cause, you know, one more blogger added to that list and I'll never find it again. . . La. I'll go do that. Dmn my bunny account got suspended.

Friday 6/18 A Day In The Life Of A Classroom / Big Bob's Crisis

Must watch! Ugh will have to record it tonight. It comes on at 5:30 AM. Ughhhhh. -_- C'mon Dah.


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LOL Yay! Dad got me new tapes so I don't have to record over stuff I ain't seen yet. That was nice timing O_o Ugh yeah so talking with Ray, just about the mandatory, made me feel a lot better. I don't feel as confused as i did.
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Smackdown was pretty good. Heh. And I'm resorting my Pokemon cards. I'm gonna put up my lame new sig lol. YAAAAAY! I'm happy! Just found out while watching Jimmy Kimmel live (Nejo I miss you and Marc isn't doing too good either, you better hurry back! >.<) that there are gonna be new Whose line episodes next week. I'm prolly majorly behind on this news but woohoo! I don't care ^-^; I so am not missing that! Nerm. Almost posting time. This night has been overly boring but relaxing too. I needed a me night I guess heh. ^^; This day has been. . . um. . . good, considering how it started out. ^^;;;;